You may have seen my recent post on social media catching you up on this time of major life transition and transformation in my life. If you missed it, here is a quick recap:
I have left my life-partner, fur baby, home, job, community and life as I know it.
It has been a turbulent ride… and like an autumn leaf, I have been leaning into a deep trust in the cyclic nature of my being to know that this time of letting go is of service in ways beyond my knowing and control.
I can admit, wholeheartedly, that it has tested every part of me.
The waves of grief, anger, frustration, remorse, hurt, sadness, love, trust, anticipation and uncertainty have washed through me, over me, and at times capsized me.
To say that life in my world has been hectic is an understatement!
I would love to take a moment to share a snippet of my very messy, very human story with you - scroll on down for the juicy deets...
For now, I simply want to acknowledge we are all living in a time of immense transition.
I am sure you are experiencing your own version of perpetual growth and relentless change.
I can’t help but feel it is a time to become warriors of the heart.
Time to initiate ourselves.
Time to do difficult things and have difficult conversations.
In some ways, I am dedicating April to this intent, with a number of inspired workshops, retreats and classes to support us all in our process of showing up with fierce compassion and soul-aligned truth.
Amidst the hairiness of these seasons of change I hope you know I am right here beside you.
A fellow traveler of this wild, unknown path of inner transformation.
Beaming you love and a reflection of your own divine light.
May you (and I alike) greet all that is unravelling and reweaving with a soft, curious heart.
Life transitions, unexpected change and inner resilience…
I’ve been in a vortex of change these past 6 months. It’s not my first time in this territory. The first time I really dived deep into my inner work & shed my old skin it was a messy ride because I blew up my life to find the new ‘me’.
I left the guy. I quit the job (overnight).
I left the country. I shifted friendship circles.
I grew my hair. I became vegetarian.
I uprooted everything. Burnt it all down. And in the process found me. My desires. My creativity.
Over a decade later, 1 cat, a life-partner, a house & quite a few gray hairs - I have been feeling the same yearning for change.
I’ve been on the precipice of dipping my toe in & slowly wading into the depths of this void for months and months.
But this time I have held an intention close to heart to find a new way, one that doesn’t have to destroy everything to create anew.
One gracious step at a time I have been choosing to turn towards my shadows.
Listening to the longings that come with dire consequences.
Confronting the voice of old patterns urging me to choose the path of least resistance, stay in the familiar, that old paradigm of what feels ‘safe’.
To say it has been uncomfortable is an understatement - it has been down right tortuous!
And, despite my best efforts… the last couple of months have been explosive - like BIG BANG explosive!
Who was I kidding trying to control ‘the transformation process’?!?
I didn’t want (or need) to blow up my relationship, home, business or life… in fact I LOVED it all. However, for one reason or another it was not in alignment with who I am becoming.
Alas, here I sit. The life I know, dissolving like a sugar cube in hot tea…
A new door before me.
What is on the other side, I do not know.
What I can say is that unlike the past, this time I am not needing to ‘find’ the new me. I AM A NEW ME and life is recalibrating to support all the ways that I can show up with authenticity & love.
I am committed to this path of transformation - even though it's mucky as hell! - and I believe you are too. That is why I share this little snippet of my life today.
Despite being a keeper of sacred space for this kind of inner work for you and many other women, I too am navigating the worlds of inner and outer change.
I am human…
and I don’t have all the answers.
I make mistakes… get mired in fear and self-doubt, just like the rest of humanity.
AND, I am grateful to be able to share all that I am living and learning along the way…
These are a few questions I have been pondering, as I face the moments of difficult choice…. perhaps they will serve you too?!?
3 Questions to Ponder in During Major Life Transitions & Inner Change…
What is worth suffering for? Everything brings it’s own set of challenges. Everything is hard in some way. The question is - what is worth being uncomfortable for?
Imagine the best possible version of yourself - what would bring you closest to being that person? The best possible version of yourself is the most loving, kind, productive and fulfilled one. What kind of life would move you in that direction?
What do you need to do in order to arrive at your death bed proud of yourself?
When you take the big picture into consideration, more often than not it helps to stay in your integrity. Follow that truth it is your guiding light.
To the woman who set out to heal herself this year…
I hope this message touches the heart of your sacred centre... and awakens the deep knowing in you that no matter how challenging this moment may be, you are soulful and resilient.
You're not alone dear one.